On Wheels: Dodge Challenger R/T Scat Pack, delightfully impractical

There is something wonderfully adolescent about the 2016 Dodge Challenger R/T Scat Pack, starting with its name. It has no intention of being adult, although only adult wages can support its final transaction price of $47,070.

Like most “fun” cars, it gives secondary concern to practicality. It has a rather huge trunk (16.2 cubic feet), and it seats four full-bodied adults in reasonable comfort.

But practicality stops there.

The rear-wheel-drive R/T Scat Pack, equipped with Fiat Chrysler Automobiles’ gasoline-fueled 6.4-liter V-8 engine, delivers a maximum 485 horsepower and 475 pound-feet of torque. It literally roars, which is okay if you live in a wide-open space, or in a place where neighbors don’t mind loud automotive exhaust notes at 6 a.m., which is when I usually take off on many of my test runs.

I don’t live in either of those places. Mine is a settled, normally quiet neighborhood of families and lovers who value their solitude. Va-va-voom, varoom pop-pops at 6 a.m. aren’t exactly welcome.

So I had to push the R/T Scat Pack’s electronic ignition button, let the big engine rumble a bit, release the emergency brake, slip the eight-speed TorqueFlite automatic transmission into reverse gear and let the 5,300-pound car quietly roll down and out of my driveway without touching, or barely touching, the accelerator pedal.

Age is a tempering thing. Had I been 40 years younger than my current 68, I would’ve smacked that pedal, rejoiced in the tumultuous exhaust note and taken off. But I’ve long since learned that other people have feelings, too. They might not share my enthusiasm for a high-powered piece of shiny metal, in this case, something painted “TorRed” (read “torrid” or “tornado”-red paint) with a clear-coat covering.

Heck, just say the R/T Scat Pack’s exterior was bright red, a color I once passionately embraced but now try to avoid. Why? It’s brought me nothing but trouble. In cars, I’ve paid enough fines on bright-red performance automobiles to fund a first semester’s tuition at a good private college. In women, well, I thank God every day for having the luck to actually marry a woman who prefers grays, blues and greens.

So, yes, I was ill at ease running around in a loud, fast, bright-red, “screw-you-world-gimme-dat-ticket” high-performance automobile.

But the longer I stayed behind its wheel, the more fun I had, the more seduced I became. I remembered how much I liked cars with irresponsible power and speed and how much I loved bright red despite — or because of — its association with sin.

Then, God spoke.

He began quietly with gray skies and dropping temperatures, down to 22 degrees Fahrenheit when I checked Thursday evening. Snow began falling, a very light snow, barely an inch of the stuff.

“You’ve got to be kidding me,” I thought. “With 485 horsepower, I’ll easily make it through this light powder.”

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He apparently laughed and shook His head. The powerful, loud, rear-wheel-drive R/T Scat Pack was absolutely no match for that light snow. It lost traction on a minor hill and would not move forward. I gave up and let it slide backward to a flatter, safer place, where I left it parked overnight.

Luckily, I was less than a mile from home. I walked. But, for me, it was an epiphany, an evange

lical moment. All that power, gusto, speed and noise — all of that “in-yo-face” macho motorized pride — it all was rendered useless, helpless, impotent by a tiny bit of snow.

Nuts & Bolts

Dodge Challenger R/T Scat Pack

Bottom line: This is a toy, a car for drivers who primarily want to have fun.

Ride, acceleration and handling: The ride is smooth on good roads but discernibly bumpy on those that are less well maintained. It goes from 0 to 60 mph in about 5.9 seconds on dry roads. But it has an aggressive rear-wheel-drive setup that, with performance tires, renders it useless on mildly icy roads.

Body style/layout: The Challenger is a five-seat, two-door coupe available in seven trim levels — SXT, SXT Plus, R/T, R/T Plus, R/T Scat Pack, SRT 392 and SRT Hellcat.

Engine/transmission: The R/T Scat Pack comes with a 6.4-liter, 16-valve gasoline V-8 with variable valve timing (485 horsepower, 475 pound-feet of torque). A six-speed manual transmission is standard. The model used for this column was equipped with an optional eight-speed automatic that can also be operated manually.

Capacities: The car seats four people comfortably. Cargo capacity is 16.2 cubic feet. The fuel tank holds 18.5 gallons of gasoline (premium grade is recommended for best performance).

Mileage: Not much. In fact, this one comes with a $1,000 federal gas-guzzler tax. You get 15 miles per gallon in the city and 25 on the highway — 20 mpg overall, which is 2.5 less than the federal standard of 22.5. Thus, the tax.

Safety: Standard equipment includes front and rear ventilated disc brakes; four-wheel anti-lock brake protection; emergency braking assistance; emergency braking preparation; brake drying; post-collision safety system; stability and traction control; and front, side and rear air bags.

Recommended safety options: All the advanced electronic safety items.

Pricing: This one starts at $37,995, with a dealer invoice price of $36,566. Price as tested is $47,070, including $7,080 in options (advanced electronic safety, premium sound system and other items) and a $995 factory-to-dealer shipment charge and $1,000 federal gas tax. Dealer's price as tested is $44,864.

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